"The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them."

"Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you."

"Never get married while you're going to college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake."

"There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?"

"Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people."

"The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket."

"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times."

"Beauty is the first test; there is no permanent place in the world for ugly mathematics."

"Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy."

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

"Sometimes we do a thing in order to find out the reason for it. Sometimes our actions are questions not answers."

"People are, if anything, more touchy about being thought silly than they are about being thought unjust."