"Beauty fades; dumb is forever."

"All persons living and dead are purely coincidental."

"Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree what they are made of, where they come from, or how often the should appear."

"Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment."

"I know a mother-in-law who sleeps with her glasses on, the better to see her son-in-law suffer in her dreams."

"We want far better reasons for having children than not knowing how to prevent them."

"Those who seek consolation in existing churches often pay for their peace of mind with a tacit agreement to ignore a great deal of what is known about the way the world works."

"For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing."

"My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind."

"I've often thought the Bible should have a disclaimer in the front saying this is fiction."

"It will, I believe, be everywhere found, that as the clergy are, or are not what they ought to be, so are the rest of the nation."

"The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not."