"Three people can keep a secret so long as two of them are dead."

"To the generous mind the heaviest debt is that of gratitude, when it is not in our power to repay it."

"Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to get leisure."

"All cats are gray in the dark."

"The absent are never without fault, nor the present without excuse."

"Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other."

"Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact."

"A federal judge has ruled that Microsoft should be split into two different companies. One company will have the Windows operating system and the other will count Bill Gates' money."

"On his examination paper a boy wrote, 'A natural death is where you die by yourself without a doctor's help."

"There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way."

"If the gods listened to the prayers of men, all humankind would quickly perish since they constantly pray for many evils to befall one another."

"I hope that when I die, people say about me, 'Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.'"